Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
