A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
