I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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