I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
