It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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