I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
