Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
