areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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