Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize