Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
