How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize