playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
