She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A+ Viking dick
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