their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
