I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
this hospital has no fireball
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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