I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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