No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
