Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
