just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
