i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
