I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
