Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
