i just had sex bonerless
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
