the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
