3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
