there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
