I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
