Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i now understand why vodka
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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