i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
