Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
