meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
