this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
