I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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