My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
