OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
