I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
