i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
