I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
