so explain again why im purple
no
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
