I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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