my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
