Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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