you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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