I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
