I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
