Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize