reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
