If that was your dad, he is hot
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
