I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
