Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
