I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
