he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
