I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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