she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
