The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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