a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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