Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
