How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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