i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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