Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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