Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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