Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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